2012-12-13, 03:57 PM
Everyone is ok now. Dreams have a funny way of working. They pick at the things in the back of your mind. I try to think about my worst fears. It is hard, but it helps me when I have to sleep.
When I was 8, I had to go to a therapist. I refused to sleep. I was scared of entering the world of dreams. I had horrible nightmares. I was put on medication, to try to stop me from waking up in the middle of the night.
I woke up, around 2AM every day, screaming. I become so scared when I have to fall asleep to this day. I try to not let this horrible part of me affect me, but it does.
I've never told anyone this. My mom knows of course. But everyone else know next to nothing. I say I have sleeping issues.
I make lists of what I am scared of.
-A murderer in my closet
-Someone hiding under my bed
-Something grabbing my feet
-Being startled.
-Objects moving
-People with eye-liner
-Dogs
-Blood
Those are just a few. They might seem funny to you, but every time I think of these things, or see some of these things, I have a panic attack. My heart beats really fast, I get dizzy, and I start to cry. I try to avoid these things if I can. Every night, I look in my closet. I sit on my floor and sob, trying to make myself open the closet door.
No one knows these thing. I can't do anything about them.
It is just who I am.
When I was 8, I had to go to a therapist. I refused to sleep. I was scared of entering the world of dreams. I had horrible nightmares. I was put on medication, to try to stop me from waking up in the middle of the night.
I woke up, around 2AM every day, screaming. I become so scared when I have to fall asleep to this day. I try to not let this horrible part of me affect me, but it does.
I've never told anyone this. My mom knows of course. But everyone else know next to nothing. I say I have sleeping issues.
I make lists of what I am scared of.
-A murderer in my closet
-Someone hiding under my bed
-Something grabbing my feet
-Being startled.
-Objects moving
-People with eye-liner
-Dogs
-Blood
Those are just a few. They might seem funny to you, but every time I think of these things, or see some of these things, I have a panic attack. My heart beats really fast, I get dizzy, and I start to cry. I try to avoid these things if I can. Every night, I look in my closet. I sit on my floor and sob, trying to make myself open the closet door.
No one knows these thing. I can't do anything about them.
It is just who I am.
GOODBYE
