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+--- Thread: Story (/showthread.php?tid=4804)
Story - 1258933 - 2014-01-23
The Sinking
Today I was at the beach and the water was slowly started to rise. The
beach was no longer there it was engulfed by the nasty sea water. I
finally went home to my hotel. I turned on the TV and looked for the
channel that had the news. I was watching it for a while and nothing
about the beaches disappearing. I wonder what is happening, I thought
as I was watching the news. I lit a candle because in South Africa
turns off their power at 10:00. I went back to go see the beach there
was no road nearing the beach. It was terrifying, so now what would we
do. What do we do now run hide. Is there a tsunami coming? All well we
should be fine. So I went home, (aka the hotel), and turned on the TV
and it was isa amazement in action.
On the TV I the news said
“THE WATER IS RISING what is happening,” said the weather man with a
Florida. I’m the owner of that ohh I sent him ahah.
“We have an idea that it is sucking it up from America and covering
(aka sinking the CONTINETNS) whew that was a lot to say,” said the
NASA guy. So now the continents are almost GONE!! What else now. Ohh
yes that part well ok ill tell it. Now that all the continents are
sunk and all the people started to flood on to American grounds, we
have not seen any weird movement in the tectonic plates, nothing. So
it’s been 4 weeks since the continents have sunk. No tectonic
movements noting again NOTHING so all well. Then one evening the water
started rushing back to America!! The water was coming and coming back
to the Americans!! Everything has gone back to normal. BUT there is a
very, very high chance of it happening again.
So today I was at the beach!
I hope that this will never happen in real life.
----Written by
-----Patrick
So this is what i wrote im gunna add alot. this is just a taste of whats to come i had to make this story 750 words so ya
Story - tobiii1004 - 2014-01-23
Haha, promote writing
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Story - 1258933 - 2014-01-23
What in the *&%$$ does that mean
Story - tobiii1004 - 2014-01-23
Ah...it's...well...
It means exactly what it says.... xD Promote....writing.... xD
Story - FelledKind - 2014-01-23
You should always write how you wrote your story! Its a lot easier to read!
Story - zombielover99 - 2014-01-23
Nice story dude!!!
Story - Qu3sti0nMark - 2014-01-23
theres always that one guy 125. listen i hate to do this. you seem nice enough, but i cant really get into your story. your grammar throws me off mostly, it just made the story not make sense, and your use of punctuation was was terrible.
when I was reading your story, i kept getting annoyed when i saw a case how your story may have rised too quickly. focus more on the little things. as silly as it sounds but like. add in how your staring at the sea. and talk about ripples and what they bring you great feeling of. you get what im saying?
it just. like. dont hate me for this. But I feel as though this could... have been rushed,its just what it seems like.
thankyou for posting your story and sharing it with us.
Story - mattjtv - 2014-01-23
Each sentence takes roughly the same amount of time to read. Reading it sounds so monotoned.
Story - 1258933 - 2014-01-23
it had to be cut short it is currently being edited by an author so yes sorry my grammar throws a lot of you off